100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something. Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she's going to outlive you.
99. Most women will not have sex for the first time with a guy unless their legs are shaved. If your date shows up and you spot stubble, she's trying to keep herself in line.
98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can't get a hard-on she assumes you're not attracted to her.
97. Beware of your girlfriend's single party friend or gay bud. They want her to be single with them and will encourage any bad behavior as often as possible.
96. Jewelry. Now you always knkow what to get her for a last-minute gift.
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn't get along with other women because she's either bat-@!$%# crazy or just plain mean.
93. Girls who say, "I love sports!" are lying. Girls who ask you what time the game is on, without specifying which game they're talking about, are not.
92. A random hookup is more likely to result in pregnancy, because a woman has more sex when she's most fertile.
91. She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
90. Just started dating? Women want you to drive, even if it's their car.
what... only a 100?
81. The threesome is not about you; it's about the two girls. If you're lucky enough to score one with your girlfriend, enjoy sex with the other one because there's a good chance it'll end the relationship.
Hmm, I disagree. Never had a relationship breakup because of the other woman in a ménage à trois. Although once I did break up with the guy, for another reason, and the girl and I kept seeing each other for a while.
65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
I seldom argue when boyfriends . . .or husbands for that matter. And I ALWAYS say "I'm sorry" first. And in 35+ years of dating no man has ever asked me why I was sorry. Or they would have found out that "I'm sorry" means "I'm sorry you are so stupid you disagree with me" NOT "I'm sorry I'm wrong." BwWhahahahaa
38. Let her beat you at something once in a while—poker, chess, Ping-Pong—and she'll be more likely to give you what you want, like some peace and quiet.
If I found out a guy let me win and it would be over. If I ever found one who could beat me at anything but Air Hockey. And if you are smart, you won't challenge me to Air Hockey. I've nearly caused fatalities with my unerring ability to launch those stupid pucks into suborbital trajectories.
20. All women think they're smarter than their partners in some significant way.
Because we are. :D
9. The minute she decides she's even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.
My initial response was NOT. Then I remembered that the first thing I thought when I met my second husband was "Gwen and Glen Todd . . .that would get annoying really fast."
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
Does a little calculation. So, um. . . .15? Oh, unless you count that one party. Hmmm. . .
no lol,Boys are smarter and stronger and can do anything and everything better then girls.
hah I enjoyed that, thanks for the seed!
One tip, don't paste the entire article into the seed description - it is illegal and against the Newsvine policy.
I'll keep that in mind.
About half of this is utter crap. Just a warning for any guys who really think they are getting the inside scoop.
That means the other 50% is good stuff and that's 50% more than most guys started out with.
That is exactly what you'd say to make us think that, isn't it? Devil woman!
You're both right. :-)
This just cracked me up:
27. Gain her trust when you're out by calling her at 10 P.M. She'll go to bed content you're thinking of her, even if you're slurping Jell-O shots off some skank's cleavage.
Ditto.
There's definitely some truth in there... but this is bull@!$%#:
87. Your female coworkers are obsessed with the fact that on average they receive less pay than male counterparts—and the fact that they work less overtime and get pregnant is irrelevant to the discussion.
I am obsessed with the fact that my male coworkers make more... but they often leave before me and many of them have children, but I do not. And with more women going to college than men, and opting to delay parenthood, and relying on daycare, this statement just doesn't hold water.
At least half this stuff is typical gender-stereotyping bull@!$%#, and if I knew women like this list protrays, I wouldn't want a damn thing to do with them.
Some of it does ring true though.
From a woman's point of view: These are not true. I could probably only pick out a handful, if that!
What kind of man would want a woman who was like half of this stuff?
A few things about these 100 things, I think you should know.
100. Girls enjoy always having something kind of wrong, like a headache or cramping or something.
Remember: No matter how bad it sounds, she's going to outlive you.
* She will outlive you regardless, simply on the predication that she projects the stress related in always
having something kind of wrong, while she herself has nothing wrong.
98. No matter how much she reassures you, if you can't get a hard-on she assumes you're not attracted to her.
* And unless you have recently taken some form of sedation, or are returning from an orgy, she assumes right!
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
* Maybe this is men's version of keeping ourselves in line, see #99.
94. Never trust a girl who has no girlfriends. She doesn't get along with other women because she's either bat-@!$%# crazy or just plain mean.
* Then again, she may have at one time have been a dude!
84.Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
* Proof also that most women thrive on getting things. And, most guys thrive on buying those things. This especially increases if the parties have a sexual relationship. Given that, and without stretching the definition of prostitute at all, this number could easily become 90% of American men.
83. Women always want to believe what you're saying is true.
* They have a funny way of showing it.
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you've ever had.
* Forget blowjobs, you can't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days, once a month, but doesn't die.
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
* I think its 10 of 10, but, call me crazy.
65. The most painless way to end an argument: Let her win.
* Wrong! You can cause instant withdrawl by offering to have your mom ( potentially the
mother in law ) work with her to help solve the problem.
30. "Don't caress our faces while we're kissing, unless you really, really, really like us."—Rachel, 21
* Don't make us pay for anything... unless you really, really, really like us. And then, let us keep everything in the divorce.
25. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.
* Only because I'm sleeping with her friend if I was single she wouldn't pay me the time of day.
22. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.
* #25 already covers this, and you could have just said it works 60% of the time.
21. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.
* Can I get the phone numbers of that half?
17. Any good woman will tell ya, honesty is not always the best policy.
* Who are these "good" women?
3. The one breakup line she'll never be able to argue you out of: "I'm sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you."
* Or, "I'm sorry, I had sex with your mom... and little sister."
1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.
* And we'll never, never, never, ever really want to know.
My wife was pretty upfront with me regarding the number of guys she'd slept with...@!$%#, I think we had that conversation even before we ever had sex...I think it was 8 or 9, but I honestly don't remember, or really care.
73. Over the course of her life, a woman will use 10 men for every one she loves. If you lent her your car or helped her move and didn't get laid, you're one of the 10.
* I think its 10 of 10, but, call me crazy.
You are so funny, mat&t. You forgot mention that a man will do ANYTHING to get his hotdog in some woman's bun. And the only reason those 10 guys did anyone for a woman was to get laid. LOL
I'm almost ashamed to admit that you are completely right, Gwenny.
I think it goes both ways...there's plenty of women who have guy friends who they know damn well want more than that, and will happily keep them going just long enough to get them to do stuff for her, just as there are plenty of guys who will stick around doing @!$%# they hate, in hopes of getting some, eventually.
Are you done talking yet?
Wow.
All I can say to other guys is, the more of these 100 things you can identify as complete and utter bull, the more likely you are to get with a smart, non-shallow woman.
Smart chicks are much better in bed, and much more fun out of bed.
The more of this list you actually believe...well, the more you deserve what you get. Which is good, I guess, because somebody's got to be out there keeping the stupid ones away from the rest of us.
I don't know, Pev... I think there's a lot of truth to
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you've ever had.
Don't you? ;-)
No, actually, I don't. I mean, sure, maybe if you want to date a pristine, inexperienced virgin, and if that's the case, knock yourself out; you're on your own. I've been with pristine, inexperienced virgins. They aren't a lot of fun in bed. Me, personally? I'd rather have a girl who knows what she's doing and isn't scared to do it. And if she can show me a trick or two? All the better.
Also, I don't live my life scared to death I might someday secretly get really unbelievably great head from a dude in a wig. Y'know, just in case that's where you're going with that one.
Thanks, Pev. I'm noticing a lot of woman-bashing in threads lately and it's making me question being a part of Newsvine.
You provide a small counterbalance here and I appreciate it.
I can't help but wonder if so many of these ugly comments would be trampled on if they were about other groups... the handicapped, different races, different religions; pick your label.
It's very disheartening to see that so many men think so very little of my gender.
I'm noticing a lot of woman-bashing in threads lately and it's making me question being a part of Newsvine.
I've just as much "men bashing". Come on, this was supposed to be funny. I laughed myself silly on some of them.
I agree with Gwenny. This is supposed to be fun. This list looks like something that would be in Maxim anyway.
Oh, I have a sense of humor. Perhaps this is just the straw that broke the camel's back? And it's less the article that concerns me than some of the responses to it.
84.Sixteen percent of American men have been with a prostitute—scientific proof most women are decent in bed.
* Proof also that most women thrive on getting things. And, most guys thrive on buying those things. This especially increases if the parties have a sexual relationship. Given that, and without stretching the definition of prostitute at all, this number could easily become 90% of American men.
79. Never trust the woman who gives you the best blow job you've ever had.
* Forget blowjobs, you can't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days, once a month, but doesn't die.
Actually, I'm quite certain it's just the last straw for me. Over here is where I really got depressed.
Over here is where I really got depressed.
Why did this article depress you? I hadn't read it before, but he seems to have come to a reasonable, acceptable conclusion based on his own experiences. He's not trashing women. He's saying he just can't deal with them. That's not unreasonable. That's not a reason to be depressed.
Of course, the only reason I'm not a lesbian is that I would have to be involved with women and I just don't understand them.
Yeah, read past the article and soak up all the responses -- and the author's true feelings come out in his responses to readers.
I suspect there's more to you not being a lesbian than an apparent inability to understand women. :)
These articles are funny because stereotypes pulled out and listed make them so absurd and thus funny. Kinda like Eddy Murphy movies, fun in small doses.
I liked Mr. Lewis's article and emphasize somewhat though I think he is drawing the wrong conclusions. I haven't been able to articulate my own thoughts well enough yet to comment directly on it though. I didn't take away from it that he was bashing women though.
I suspect there's more to you not being a lesbian than an apparent inability to understand women. :)
No, that pretty much covers it. I find women very attractive on many sensory levels and deeply enjoy giving them pleasure, but having to deal with drama and tears and betrayal keeps me from being seriously involved with one outside of multi-partner relationship where the man has to absorb most of the suffering. If I could find a lovely, fleshy woman who liked to play WoW and wasn't going to blog about our relationship on her LiveJournal everytime I pissed her off, I'd marry her. LOL
Yes, some part of me really hates the mother who tried to kill me then spent 20 years abusing, humiliating and guilting me. I'm trying to work on it, but I keep getting women therapists. ::giggle::
You really must read the comments -- from readers and many from the author -- to truly get a read on the ideas floating around.
Then again, maybe I am overreacting. Maybe every other woman in the world is a gold-digging, heartless @!$%# who cares nothing about feelings and only derives from pleasure from bank accounts.
It's just... I have all these other people I know -- females, too -- and they are nothing like that description either. Perhaps every other woman is in on it together? Is it all a big prank being pulled on me? Did every other woman in the world get a handbook on being empty, soulless and less worthy than the poor, poor men who are being so terribly abused by them?
Because that's some key info.
Oh, and Gwenny: the lesbian comment was a throwaway bit designed to make you smile... not intended to insult or spur you to share your dark personal experiences.
You really must read the comments
No, I really don't have to . .I assume there are things there that will piss me off and I have some self control. LOL I only suck at avoiding stupid conversation about global warming. Ignore the author. ::shrug:: My ignore list is about as third as big as my friends list. (Hmm, wonder how many ignore lists I'm on?)
Then again, maybe I am overreacting.
Could be. We each have our buttons. Mine is global warming. My blood pressure goes up whenever I see people spewing the current media line without having any real idea what is involved. Maybe you just need to click "stop tracking" when one gets on your nerves? And learn to recognize which ones are going to set you off.
You really must read the comments
No, I really don't have to .
Of course. You absolutely don't have to do anything. I'm not even sure why you responded as such. But you said you didn't see anything wrong in the piece and couldn't see why I would be upset. I was saying that the upsetting bits were in the author's responses, where his feelings about women are really revealed.
I was saying that the upsetting bits were in the author's responses, where his feelings about women are really revealed.
Understand. Your simply weren't clear that it was the comments, not the article that bothered you. As I said, I didn't read it when I saw it -- I knew from the title that it would probably spark poo flinging by 20something men and just didn't bother reading it. Much as I like men, they can be boorish and ignorant and driven by their gonads. :D
I feel sad that this man has been victimized like he has, but my knowing there are decent women out there does not invalidate his experience and I feel no need to try to change how he feels nor do I feel threatened by it. ::hugs:: It's tough enough to be a woman just living our lives without going to look for reasons to be pissed at men or taking everything they say seriously. I choose to see the humor where I can and just let the rest go.
As a side note:
95. The sight of you in your socks and underwear is the biggest turnoff in the world.
I just got back from my doctor's office. There in the waiting room was the latest issue of Vanity Fair (uh, or some issue of Vanity Fair...I didn't look at the date). On the cover?
Brad Pitt, soaking wet, in his boxers and socks.
Yet another one debunked, guys.
Hey, I recognize that this is humor. I'm all about the humor. But me? I'd be more poking fun at the guys who'd be naive enough to believe this stereotyped crap than I would
(grumble, trackpad got away from me) ...be poking fun at the hypothetical women it's supposedly talking about. Like I said, any guy who approaches women as if this is what they're like is going to end up with what he expects, and he deserves it.
And he leaves the good ones for the rest of us. Where's the problem?
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